Discussions Time: "Helicopter Parents" Cause Depressive Kids

The below video displayed a discussion between the Lisa Ferguson and John Iadarola.

Their discussion topis was "Helicopter parents" cause Depressive Kids

This video was adapted from the website:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdleGNJlJj4

Vicious Cycle Between Authoritarian Parenting and Children's Depression

This below flow chart  was a precisely illustration to depict how the authoritarian parenting would lead to children's poor mental health (Chan, 2013).

This photo was adapted from the website: http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk/2012/12/parenting-and-anxiety.html

Beyond this vicious cycle, there was a key message that our kid's future depended partly on our parental style.


References:
Chan, O. (2013). What is parenting? Helicopter vs Monster. Retrieved 9 November, 2013 from Monster parents, helicopter parents & anxiety, Website: http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk/2012/12/what-is-parenting-helicopter-vs-monster.html

Helicopter Parents vs Monster Parents

Sometimes, it was quite confusing to distinguish the difference between the "Monster Parents" and "Helicopter parents".

A) The First Intrinsically Difference Between the "Helicopter Parents" and "Monster Parents"

The term "Helicopter Parents" was used in western societies whereas the term "Monster Parents" was used in eastern societies.

The picture was adapted from the website: http://awkwardebutante.blogspot.hk/2010/05/helicopter-parents.html

Originated from the America, "Helicopter Parents" was primarily seen in the  book " Between Parents & Teenage" which was written by Dr Haim Ginott in 1969.

Later, written by Foster W Cline and Jim Fay in 2006, "Helicopter Parents" was then used in the book " Parenting with love and logic" (Cline, & Fay, 2006).

"Helicopter Parents" was  the description referred to parents who had the inclination to hover overhead of their children (Cline, & Fay, 2006).

This photo is adapted from the website: http://shooters.cocolog-nifty.com/feel_and_sense/2008/07/post_aa1a.html

On the contrary, originated from Japan, "Monster Parents" was phrase used firstly by  Onoda Masatoshi in late twenty centuries.

Monster Parents was specially referred to parents who always exerted pressure to the school teachers or principals by launching complaints to them for the sake of their children to maximize their benefits.

This photo was adapted from the website: http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Asia/Story/A1Story20130425-418343.html

 

B) The Second Distinguishing Feature Between the "Helicopter Parents" and "Monster Parents"

 
First and foremost, children was the sufferers under "Helicopter Parents" whereas the victim of " Monster Parents" was the school teachers and principals (Chan, 2013).

On top of that, "Helicopter Parents" was an indigenous word emanated from western society whereas the phrase "Monster Parents" was exported to western society (Chan, 2013).

In the western content and context, "Monster Parents" referred to parents who controlled and protected excessively their fellow children.


References
Chan, O. (2013). What is parenting? Helicopter vs Monster. Retrieved 7 November, 2013 from Monster parents, helicopter parents & anxiety, Website: http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk/2012/12/what-is-parenting-helicopter-vs-monster.html


Cline, F, & Fay, J. (2006). Parenting with love and logic: Teaching Children Responsibility (2nd Edition). Colorado: Navpress.

Helicopter Parenting Contributing to Child Depression

According to a study conducted by Schiffrin and his colleagues in 2013, it depicted that helicopter parents had a higher probability to nurture children with depressive symptoms as well as having low satisfaction towards their life (Schiffrin, Liss, Miles-McLean, Geary, Erchull, & Tashner, 2013).

This picture was adopted from the website: http://blessedexistence-blessed.blogspot.hk/2012/08/helicopter-parents-vice-of-over.html


Previous studies discovered that college students having helicopter parents had more prescription of anti-depressive medications when compared with those without helicopter parents (LeMoyne & Buchanan, 2011).

 This picture was adopted from the website: http://blessedexistence-blessed.blogspot.hk/2012/08/helicopter-parents-vice-of-over.html


However, the relationship between the helicopter parenting and increasing anxiety was not established (Schiffrin et al, 2013).


References

LeMoyne, T., & Buchanan, T. (2011). Does " hovering' matter? Helicopter parenting and its effect on well-being. Sociological Spectrum, 31, 399-418

Schiffrin, H. H., Liss, M., Miles-McLean, H., Geary, K. A., Erchull, M. J., & Tashner, T. Helping or Hovering? The effects of helicopter parenting on college students' well being. Journal of Child and Family Journal, 1-10.

The Monster Parents in the South Korea

A video, which was known as "High Expectations Asian Father's Video", was made by using the face image of Jeon Mu Song. He was a famous South Korea actor who acted as fathers in the TV series.

The main theme of the video was to show the strong determination of Asian parents to excel their children in the academic fields.

This video was adapted from the website: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uxv7aw4iwY0


On top of that, there was another video showing the importance of the university entrance examination in South Korea. 

The video was adapted from the website:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lg9pT65h74

We could see from the video that  all the students had a high moral to prepare for their exam and their parents were exciting.

A Japanese TV Drama: Monster Parents

A Japanese TV drama "Monster Parents, which was broadcasted in 2008, was popular in Asia countries such as Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Taiwan and even China.

The Theme Song of the Drama by Tokunaga Hideaki

This video was adapted from the website: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRVXvTTaq24

Takamura Itsuki, who was the main character in the firm and was acted by Yonekura Ryoko ( 米倉涼子), was a very competent lawyer in a famous firm. She was so brilliant that she never lost a case in court until she accepted a favor from the Board of Education to solve a case between parent and teacher (Barlow, 2009).

This photo was adapted from the website:  http://kumojapandrama.blogspot.hk/2010/05/monster-parent-release-july-08.html



Before encountering the "Monster Parents", she was conceived that everything could be brought to the court for litigation. However, she encountered many challenges when dealing with the "Monster Parents" who were devoted to concern only the welfare of their own children (Barlow, 2009).

This photo was adapted from the website:  http://adramaotaku.com/japanese-drama/monster-parent-complete/


She experienced lost and frustration throughout the process, however, she still continue to face this challenge. Ultimately, she discovered the meaning of her life besides wealth, fame as well as success (Barlow, 2009).



References

Barlow, E. (2009). Monster Parents: Complete. Retrieved 26 October, 2013 from Asian Drama Otaku- Monster Parents, Website:  http://adramaotaku.com/japanese-drama/monster-parent-complete/

Monster Parents or Helicopter Parents in Japan and Korea

Monster Parents were not unique in Hong Kong.

Under the Lens of Japan: "monsutā pearento" 

In Japan, "monsutā pearento" were the parents of a closely monitored kid whose movements or behaviors were closely watched by theirs parents (Pulvers, 2012).

The picture above were adopted from the website: http://www.globaltimes.cn/opinion/foreign-view/2010-09/571421.html


"Monsutā pearento" phoned the teachers inappropriate time to exert pressure over the teaching staff and even their school principals to improve their unfair treatment over their child.

Even worse, they threaten their teaching staff for the reasons of giving their child  a unreasonably low grading in the examinations or for not giving their child a remarkable star in school performance (Pulvers, 2012).

Under the Lens of South Korea: Monster Parents

The parents of Korea were conceived to be forced to become monster parents because entering into the university was the only way for their child to enter the upper tier of the society (Chan, 2012).

This photos was adapted from the website: http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk/


The South Korea Parents forced their child into "Hagwons" which were a private, profit making academic school which was popular in South Korea.  They designed the fully-utilized studying timetable for their kids and prepared high nutrient food for them (Chan, 2012).



References
Chan, O. (2012). Monster Parents: The South Korea Way. Retrieved 26 October, 2013 from Monster Parents, Helicopter Parents and Anxiety, Website: http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk/2012/12/monster-parents-south-korean-way.html

Pulvers, R. (2012). Monster parents make matters worse for their children and teachers. Retrieved 26 October, 2013 from The Japan Times, Website: http://www.japantimes.co.jp/opinion/2012/08/19/commentary/monster-parents-make-matters-worse-for-their-children-and-teachers/#.Um1iCxBbAZ4

The Consequence of Having Narcissistic Personality in the Society

"Monster parents" with authoritarian parenting styles as well as "Helicopter parents" with permissive parenting styles were more likely to nurture highly narcissistic child who were inclined to manipulate the others and became a proactive aggressor (Leung, 2013).

 

Their proactive aggressive behaviors were simply beyond harming the victims, on the contrary, their behaviors were deliberately planned (Leung, 2003). 

 

The above picture was adapted from the http://edu.singtao.com/lib/social_discussion/social_discussion_details.asp?social_discussion_id=123

 

On top of that, kids with proactive aggressions were highly correlated to psychopaths which had a higher possibility to commit homicidal behaviors just like the example of "Monster Police" Tsui Po Ko, who were conceived to have narcissistic personality, killed his colleagues unexpectedly (Leung, 2013).

 

 

The above picture was adapted from the website: http://hd.stheadline.com/news_topic/index.asp?id=18

 

Corporal punishment, adopted by "Monster parents" as one of their child-raising strategies, gave an false impression to their kids that aggressive behaviors were the most effective way to achieve their goals (Leung, 2013). 

 

 

The picture was adapted from the website: http://babyresearch.blogspot.hk/2012/04/coproral-punishment-of-children.html

 

In turns, narcissistic Kong kids achieved their instrumental goals such as money and power through the means of proactive aggressions (Leung, 2013).

References

Leung, M. (2013). Hong Kong kids more narcissistic than Western kids according to CityU study. Retrieved 22, October, 2013, Website: http://wikisites.cityu.edu.hk/sites/newscentre/en/Pages/201304231600.aspx

"Kong Kids" and their Similarities with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

 A survey, which was conducted by City University of Hong Kong, illustrated that "Kong kids" from high income families had more narcissistic traits when compared with those from low income families which did not have narcissistic personality trait at all (Zhu, 2013).

The above picture was adapted from the website: http://blogs.psychsterdata.com/yjgm/2010/02/ensnared-by-delusion-the-paradox-of-the-narcissistic-personality.html

 

The narcissistic index of "Kong kids" had an approximately up to 60 percent higher than that of their western counterparts such as the kids of America, Australia as well as United Kingdom in commensurable western studies (Leung, 2013).

Most surprisingly, "Kong kids" with proactive aggression had a comparable or a surpassing mean narcissistic scores when compared with America and Canada adolescent offenders (Leung, 2013).

 The above picture was adapted from the website: www.savagechickens.com

 

Similarities Between the "Kong Kids" and Narcissistic Personality Disorders and its Possible Reasons

 

1) They had a pervasive grandiose sense of self importance and were inclined to exaggerate their achievements as well as talents (American Psychiatric Association, 2013) because they were raised up under the high academic expectations of their parents (Zhu, 2013).

The above picture was adapted from the website: http://naturallyyoursblog.blogspot.hk/2010/12/narcissistic-personality-disorder.html

 

 2) They consistently believed they were special and could only be understandable by special people (American Psychiatric Association, 2013) because they were cared by the domestic helpers who followed all their orders and gave anythings they wanted (Zhu, 2013).

 

3) They had a pervasive sense of entitlement (American Psychiatric Association, 2013) because they were under all the favorable treatments of their parents when they grew up (Zhu, 2013).

 

The above picture was adapted from the website: http://horst-peters.blogspot.hk/2012/02/narcissism-epidemic.html

4) They exploit the others (American Psychiatric Association, 2013) because they were under the influence of achievement-oriented mindset of their parents. They pursued their goals in the expense of others (Zhu, 2013). 

 

5) They did not have any empathy and were reluctant to recognize or identify the feelings and needs of others (American Psychiatric Association, 2013) because they were the only one child in their family, therefore, they were raised up without considering the feeling's the others'.

References
American Psychiatric Association (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th Ed.). Bangkok: iGroup Press Co., Ltd.

Leung, M. (2013). Hong Kong kids more narcissistic than Western kids according to CityU study. Retrieved 22, October, 2013, Website: http://wikisites.cityu.edu.hk/sites/newscentre/en/Pages/201304231600.aspx

Xinhua (2013) Hong Kong kids more narcissistic than Western kids: study. Retrieved 21, October, 2013 from Xinhua, Website:  http://www.china.org.cn/china/Off_the_Wire/2013-04/23/content_28636219.htm

Zhu, J. (2013). Hong Kong kids more narcissistic than Western kids: Survey. Retrieved 21, October, 2013 from Asia Pacific Daily, Website: http://en.apdnews.com/news/25149.html

A Creative Monster Card Invented by Golden Brothers

The phenomenon of "Kong kids" "港孩"or "Primary School Chicken" "小學雞 " was so popular that "Golden Brothers", who were a group of Hong Kong Golden Forum internet browsers giving critical comments over the hot topics in Hong Kong, invented a creative monster card which was named as primary school chicken.

This photo is adapted from the website: http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk/2012/12/monster-parents-in-hong-kong-2-primary.html

In this card, 'Primary School Chicken'"小學雞 " were living in groups and had a height of only seven millimeter. "Golden Brothers" made a joke of their height.

 

They had a low intelligence and were a kind of monster which were difficult to raise. 

 

They loved not to do important stuffs and meanwhile, create problems to others. They bullied the weak kneel and feared the firm and did silly things elsewhere. After creating the problems, they often escaped from the scene.

 

The "Golden Brothers" laughed at them because they had a low intelligence and did silly things.

 

References
 Chan, O. (2012). Monster Parents, Helicopter Parents & Anxiety. Retrieved 19 October, 2013 from Monster Parents, Helicopter Parents & Anxiety, Website: http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk/2012/12/monster-parents-in-hong-kong-2-primary.html

Save Kong Kids, Save Our Future

From the previous blog messages, we had more awareness to the underlying root causes of the Kong Kids phenomenon.

Now, we moved on to discuss the measures to save our future generations of Hong Kong.

 

1) Implementation of Basic Self Care and Even Life Skills at School

This picture was adapted from the website: http://www.occupationaltherapy.com.au/index.php?page=our-services

On top of the family education, primary schools were conceived to be a feasible place to initiate general studies lessons which encompassed the basic life care as well as basic life skills to their fellow students.

 

During the general studies lessons, the students were taught and required to demonstrate their skills in tying their shoelace, cleaning the floor using a broom, tidying up their bed and the like (Ma, 2013). On top of that, some students were chosen to be the housework master to encourage and motivate them to participate in their daily housework (Ma, 2013).

 

2) Being a Good Parental Model

 This picture was adapted from the website: http://www.blossomedugroup.com.sg/activities/events/parents-education-workshop-good-manners/

Parental role modeling was considered an effective mean to influence how your kids turned out (Stephens, 2008). More time you could spend with your kids, More influence you could exert on them (Ma, 2013). 

 

The kids intimated their parents in a positive way if their parents continued to be self disciplined to give a consistent positive role model (University of Nebraska-Lincoln, 2013).

 

3) Reducing inappropriate Parental Interventions

The photo was adapted from the website: http://www.potty-training-tools.com/delayed-potty-training.html

Parents were recommended not to provide everything to their kids unless it is necessary (Ma, 2013). Instead of providing instructions, the parents was advocated to provide passive guidance to foster their kids'  independence as well as problem solving abilities (Ma, 2013). Even though their kids might fail in their tasks, they still could learn, grow and even develop resilience throughout the processes. 

 

Conclusions

To sum up, giving 'the best' to their kids were not really the best. Instead, nurturing our future generations under parental guidance might be a better alternative. If we did not save Kong kids, Hong Kong would be notorious for having egocentric citizens in the future.

 

References

Ma, K. (2013).Kong kids phenomenon.  Retrieved 19, October, 2013 from the Blog in Worldpress, Website: http://hoikeima3.wordpress.com/2013/07/24/kong-kids-phenomenon/

Stephens (2008). Parents are powerful role models for children. Retrieved 19, October, 2013 from  www.ParentingExchange.com, Website: http://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/parents-powerful-role-models.pdf

University of Nebraska–Lincoln (2013). UNL Extension Families: The Nebraska's Future. Retrieved 19, October, 2013 from 2013 University of Nebraska–Lincoln Extension Lancaster County, Website: http://lancaster.unl.edu/family/parenting/model_537.shtml

Stories Behind the Kong Kids

As previously alluded, Kong Kids were criticized by the public as having low self care ability, low adversity quotient as well as low emotional quotient (Ma, 2013).

Before having concrete plans to help them, we needed to explore the underlying causes of this phenomenon.

 

1) Increasing Number of Families Having Only One Kid

This picture was adapted from the website: http://www.classperformance.com

Nowadays, Hong Kong had a comparatively low birth rate and parents are inclined to have only one child in their family (HKSAR Census and Statistics Department, 2013). Parents and even grand parents were easily opted to spoil their younger generations. Therefore, they lacked social skills as well as emotional quotient.

 

Besides, they did not want their child to face any difficulties they had encountered before. Their child was protected under the umbrella of their parents throughout their growing process. Without any life experience, the kid had an low adversity quotient.

 

2) Too Much Focus Over the Academic Performance

This picture was adapted from the website: http://jonathan-raphael.deviantart.com/art/study-hard-293086848

The Hong Kong parents always had a misconception that having an excellent result equaled to having a prosperous future. They did not encourage or even forbid their kids to engage in extra curricular activities. They did not acquire any practical skills and knowledge in life.

 

3) Working Parents Paying Less Time with their Kids

The picture was adapted from the website: http://playfulearlylearners.com/2011/10/05/the-working-parent-dilemma/

In Hong Kong, most of younger parents had to work one day long, therefore, they could not spend their time to their kid, they turned to cosset their child by giving him a materialistic life (Ho, 2011). 

 

It was common for them to hire a domestic helper to serve their kid like a king or queen. They lacked self discipline as well as independence.

 

4) Too Much Emphasis Over the Rights of their Child

This picture was adopted from the website: http://marriedworkingmothers.blogspot.hk/2013/05/parenting-helicopter-parenting.html

 

In the contemporary Hong Kong society, more and more awareness were focused over the individual rights instead of responsibility. When compared with their previous generations, the modern parents were more inclined to fight for their children's rights. 

 

It was not impossible for the child to reduce their possibility to take care of himself because they were over protected (Bauhinia Foundation Research Centre, 2013).

  

References

Bauhinia Foundation Research Centre (2013). 今日怪獸咗未﹖. Retrieved 19 October, 2013 from Bauhinia Foundation Research Centre, Website: http://www.bauhinia.org/analyses_content.php?id=35

Ho, C. P. (2011). Balancing work and family in Hong Kong no easy task. Retrieved 19, October, 2013 from China Daily E Clips, Website:  http://www.cdeclips.com/en/hongkong/fullstory.html?id=68172

HKSAR Census and Statistics Department (2013). Hong Kong Fact Sheets. Retrieved 19, October, 2013 from HKSAR Census and Statistics Department, Website: http://www.gov.hk/en/about/abouthk/factsheets/docs/population.pdf

Ma, K. (2013). Kong kids phenomenon.  Retrieved 19, October, 2013 from the Blog in Worldpress, Website: http://hoikeima3.wordpress.com/2013/07/24/kong-kids-phenomenon/

Wong, J. (2011). 5 traits of Hong Kong spoilt children. Retrieved 19, October, 2013 from Hong Kong Girl Talk, Website: http://hkgirltalk.com/2011/10/06/5-traits-of-hong-kongs-spoilt-children/

Real Life Example of a Kong Kid

What is a Kong Kid or Primary School Children?

 

There is a real life example here!

 

 A seven-year-old kid, who claimed he was under the coercion of their parents to go shopping, shouted at his parents and spoke dirty words to them in front of public in a shopping mail. 

Later, he discovered he had been video-taped by phone of the bystanders. He was frustrated and yelling to call the police.

On the other hand, his parents failed to react and control his emotional and inappropriate behaviors.  

The above video is adapted from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOlH_9-2c5A

The Kong Kids and the Dependent Personality Disorders

At the December of 2010, London suffered from a snowstorm which paralyzed the air transport from Heathrow Airport to Hong Kong International Airport. Consequently, many Hong Kong overseas students were held up in returning to their country for celebrating the Winter Solstice festival and even Christmas festival.

 

The photo above is adapted from eastweek.my-magazine.me

Numerous complaints and grumblings concerning the arrangement of airline and Hong Kong Government were launched by the students and their parents. This aroused heated discussions in Hong Kong whether their kids were immoderately spoilt and indulged.

This picture is adapted from noah4672.wordpress.com

Kong Kids, borne between the mid 90s to the early year of millennium, refered to the new generations of Hong Kong who was notorious for their poor self care and, meanwhile, their dependency to be taken care of.

They have the following characteristics which were similar to the Dependent Personality Disorders:

1) Kong Kids Characteristics: Lack of Self Care such as Eating or Showering

The photo above is adapted from http://www.sharpdaily.hk/

Possible Development in their Later Life

a)  Domestic helpers take care of them persistently and excessively. They are accustomed to the help seeking behaviors.

b) Once the domestic helpers left them, they may have submissive and clinging behavior or even separation anxiety in order to regain the care.

c) They may have difficulty in making everyday decisions without enormous amount of advice and reassurances were given.

d) They were passive to allow the others to take initiative and responsibilities of their life such as deciding what kind of college they ought to attend.

2) Kong Kids Characteristics: Instead of their Parents, They Like their Domestic Helpers.

The picture is adapted from http://hkgirltalk.com/2011/10/06/5-traits-of-hong-kongs-spoilt-children/

Possible Development in their Later Life

a) Attributing to the fear of losing support or approval from the domestic helpers, the Kong Kids might have difficulty to express disagreement with the helpers because they were too dependent on them

3) Kong Kids Characteristics: Having Low Self Confidence, Low Adversity Quotient and Low Emotional Quotient

This picture is adapted from blog.yahoo.com

 Possible Development In their Later Life 

a) Under the reinforcement, they are conceived that others can do better because they are functioned adequately under consistent advices from others. Meanwhile, they are afraid of becoming more competent because they are conceived that this will be abandoned by others.

b) When they grow older, they will engage in romantic relationship. When the relationships end, they will seek other relationship promptly and even indiscriminately because they believe they are unable to live independently.They were preoccupied with the fear that they need to be alone.

  

References

American Psychiatric Association (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5^th ed.). Bangkok: iGroup Press Co., Ltd.

Ping, H. C. (2011). Kong Kids Phenomenon. Retrieved October, 13, 2013 from The China Daily Clips, Website: http://www.cdeclips.com/en/hongkong/Kong_Kids_Phenomenon/fullstory_58470.html